Jayleen Hayden

mentor. writer. human.

Jayleen Hayden: Soul Mentor / Energy Healer / Reiki Master Teacher

Jayleen is a healer located in Southern Maine.

The Truth About Grief: It Doesn't Have to be Heavy

Just because it's grief doesn't mean you always have to hold it so seriously. In conversation just yesterday, a friend was sharing how after only a year, it doesn't feel as heavy. As soon as the thought left her mouth, she looked taken aback as if somehow that might mean she's not properly navigating her experience.


Your personalized grieving process will have exactly ONE common denominator with every other individual's grieving process: it makes little sense with zero rhyme or reason.  It's a damn roller coaster - like Space Mountain but without the cool lights showing the next piece of the track. You're not supposed to see what's coming up around the bend!! You're meant to work through every moment exactly as it arises - to feel, experience, and embody every single emotional response that shows up to the party. There will be many of them: despair, depression, hilarity, delirium, horror, fear, complete love, anger, understanding, a newfound will. You name it, it's a part of the grief parade.

You will have some days where the thought of getting out of bed is agonizing and others you wish you had glitter-fetti cannons (that's cannons that shoot glitter confetti, for those unaccustomed to following the little Sprite inside my brain) and a baton to twirl as soon as that first ray of morning light hits your face through the curtains. This.Is.All.Normal. ALL OF IT.

You will have days where you wish to lead the world through a revolution and other days you want to curl up in the darkest corner of your darkest closet and just sleep for days. This is also normal. It's really important to listen to your body. When it feels heavy, let it feel heavy! If you feel like a wet blanket, feel like a wet blanket until the tears pour out. And then after that, when you find humor in everything, go belly-laugh until every muscle in your body hurts. It's necessary. Every last bit of it.

Tears are the lancet, laughter the salve. Gift yourself judgment-free space to navigate; the destination is the journey.